I haven’t written in quite some time. My creative mojo, like everyone else, seems to have decided to work from home, and clearly, my head was not the preferred home.
Honestly, I miss outside. I miss the wind. I miss the chaos. I miss the traffic. The anxiety. I miss the confusion. I miss taking the long journey to the office. Damn, I miss some people at the office. I miss dressing up. I miss my outfits…damn.
I miss the food to my creative side; the world.
But because words remain unchanged; feeding the broken hearts, calming the racing hearts, and unveiling the darkness within, here are a few questions I am taking time to answer.
1. If you were offered an engineering job that pays the same as a writing job would you take it?
I have been in employment for slightly more than a year now, with different employers. What I have come to learn is that it is never about the money, at least for me. It is more about the other non-discrete aspects that the job offers.
Like peace of mind. Calmness. Happiness. Career progress. Environment.
All these are not necessarily brought about by money, although money helps to sail through life more easily, with less struggle.
So plainly, between engineering and writing, paying the same, I would choose one that sits well with my soul. One where I will not strain. One where I will progress. One where my brain will be put to use.
I quit my first job and went for another that payed almost half of what I used to get at my first one. Why? Because I needed to live, and not merely survive. Because I was in search of happiness and calm, rather than money and status.
And no, I am not saying you opt for jobs that do not pay you well. Heck, you will suffer. You will go to bed hungry. You will fail to buy clothes, and shoes, and anything else that you like.
All I am saying is, if it comes between choosing between the two, I would choose happiness and peace over money. Because I know it is harder to heal from mental trauma, than finding other ways to raise money.
Anyway, who is that offering engineering jobs? Give them my contact asap.😊😊😊
2. If your husband asked you to be a housewife because he earns loads, would you say yes?
I am the laziest person you will ever come across; I only do not show it. I love my sleep. I hate waking up early, unless it is for travel. The only thing I am not lazy at is reading.
I do not have a husband yet, but if and when he comes by, and asks me to be a housewife, why not? (This is where you throw stones. My husband and I will get back to you in 10 years’ time)
But again, this will be on one condition; I continue to write, as much as I can, and do all I want for the writing field. And of course, buy me all the books in the world, even those I would never afford with my own money. 😊
3. Would you betray someone for a huge (money wise) writing gig?
No. I wouldn’t do this because I wouldn’t want someone to do it to me. I am also a strong believer in ‘what goes around comes back around’, so I am almost sure it would come back to bite me in the face.
So, no. I pass. Everything good will come at its own time. ❤
4. Did you grow up in an overly - religious home?
Let us just say it was religious; not overly. Yes, as kids, we were forced to go to church. No excuse whatsoever was valid. Wake up, shower, eat, put on your Sunday best, and go to church.
It was not overly religious because we never had bible study sessions in the house. The bible was never forced down our throats. I do not remember us praying before meals, unless a visitor was present.
We grew up and I think everyone makes their decisions; about religion and church.
I do not remember the last time my mum asked whether I went to church. My dad, as usual, has been minding his own business since birth. Except for that one time in 2017 when he asked me to accompany him to church. Even then, I had to beg him not to mention my name huko mbele as his daughter. Still, he went ahead to say, ‘Nimekuja na binti yangu wa kwanza aliye kwenye chuo kikuu huko Mombasa.’
I love the freedom. It has given me a chance to decide whether or not church works for me. Whether or not I have beliefs I abide with. Whether or not I find peace in prayers, and church.
Whether or not I believe in God.
It has given me clarity on what I want to do, where I want to worship, and when, without fear of being judged.
5. If your friend died today, can you kindly follow up on their book and help them get it out there posthumously?
I asked my person the same question yesterday, seeing that they are among the few who will know about the whereabouts of my book before it is released. Only one important point came up.
If I was not aware you were working on a book at your time of death, it will be hard for me to follow up. It may take a day, or weeks, or months, or years, for me to realize there was a work in progress.
Still, if I knew about it, I would work on it tirelessly. I would try as much as possible to release it in a way that you would be proud of.
Why not, when it might be the only thing that would immortalize you?
Problem is, I wouldn’t know what to do with the royalties. I am sure I will not want to use them. So before you task me with this, let me know where you would want me to channel your royalties.
6. If you made the same mistake 7 times, would you forgive yourself?
I have never been dumb enough to make the same mistake that number of times. The highest I have managed is twice.
I am quick a learning from my mistakes, and I hate the feeling that engulfs my heart and soul whenever I make mistakes.
Still, if all went south and I did it 7 times, I would forgive myself. Mistakes are meant to be made, and forgiveness is the only way of making peace with yourself.
So yes, I would forgive myself over and over again until the mistake drowns in shame and leaves me alone.
7. How easy is it for you to say and mean ‘fuck off’?
Haaaaaaard. It really is hard for me to say and mean it. Because it means I have given up on the thing, idea, notion, or person, and I like to believe I am not the kind to give up.
I like fighting to the end. I like standing in the gap for others. I like giving, and giving, until there is nothing else to give. I love being the hope in someone else’s life. I like forgiving, and forgiving, until my heart tires.
Only downside is once I say ‘fuck off’, there is no turning back.
I have ended friendships that lasted more than ten years. I do not reply to their texts. I do not react to their social media posts, no matter how beautiful their words are. I do not answer their calls. I do not listen to their stories when told by my friends.
I have had a client taking me in circles since July last year. I have been patient enough. I am finishing the last parts. I am meeting a sponsor. I am drafting a second book. I am waiting for the lawyer to send the agreement.
I maintained, ‘I am not opening the draft to start any work until you send all the money. ’
Yesterday, I sent back the down payment and asked them to find another editor. I cannot live with such clutter anymore .
I know when to let go. I know the reason I let go. Therefore, there will never ever be a reason to go back.
8. On your birthday, which would be the best gift? Somebody gifting you a book or somebody gifting someone your book?
Gift someone my book, please. It will make them happy, and it will bring me money. That way, you make two people happy.😂😂
Questions courtesy: Sharoe and Scholar, my super women.❤
( Ah, if you want to be part of the questions, ask away. Use any platform you like. Here, whatsapp, facebook, etc.)