Day 28: The Month I Was Happiest This Year and Why
With only two months to choose from, I am starting to think I should have taken this challenge towards the end of the year, so that I get to chose from a variety of months. But now that I only have two, I go with February. Not because I don’t like January, only that I had my fair share of goodness this February.
I love the first days. First days at the movies. First time at the dentist. First time at a barber shop. First time eating octopus etc. February served me the first night at work.
I have never imagined myself to be the kind of person who could work throughout the night, partly because I may be lazy, but mostly because I love my nights to myself, curled in bed, sleeping or not. Even then, I thought if I would be forced to work at night, it would be on the top most floor of the most beautiful building in the middle of a silent city. I envisioned myself taking breaks at the balcony, looking down at the empty streets and dimly lit dungeons of pleasure. I thought I would marvel at the sight and fight the urge to text someone, telling them how much I loved them, because it was so peaceful at night.
It wasn’t anything close to that. I wasn’t in the middle of a silent city. I was right next to the ocean surrounded by, apart from the workplace buildings, thickets and quite a small shopping centre. I often went out to bask in the flood lights, waiting for that feeling I thought I would have, but it never came. I struggled with sleep and anxiety. I was scared of moving from one place to another, because we were almost just seven people scattered around the whole place.
But I managed it all. When morning finally came, I was too exhausted to even talk. But I was happy I had done something I never imagined I could. I was glad I had pulled through the night without any technical hitches. And that in itself was satisfying.
I would love to say there has not been a single day I have been idle in February, but is entirely because this challenge gave me no time to lazy around. On days when I didn’t have anything to do, or didn’t feel like doing anything, the challenge kept me going. It really got hard sometime, but giving up has never been my thing. At least not with my writing.
But also, the reason February has been my happiest so far is because I made some major decisions with little care about what people would say. I bought books and read them in one sitting. I locked myself up and slept throughout when I was feeling low. I cried whenever I needed to. I got the courage to crawl out of my cocoon and write some of the stories I didn’t know I could. I asked people to pay up my debts and did not feel bad about it.
I tried different things with my hair, and I totally love how it feels to have total control of myself.
Also, I have received too much love, attention, care, affection, tolerance and laughter. I have been gifted more than I thought I could. I have woken up to blessings and slept with a content smile on my face. In short, I have been genuinely happy this February.
It is the last day of February, and I am hoping the rest of the months surprise me as much as February did. Or even more, in a positive way. I hope I grow from grin, to smile to laughter. I hope I make choices I will be proud of someday, and I hope I have the strength to counter the challenges that come my way.
That is it for today. See you tomorrow!