I probably don’t say this often enough, and this might be the very first time you are appearing anywhere in my blog, but sometimes I think you were heaven-sent to me. I don’t remember the very first time we crossed paths, but it was around that time we were both in some deep mess, and we were not even aware we were sinking. Playing the politics of the ostrich? Maybe. But I remember we pulled the trigger almost at the same time, dragging each other out of that thing that was swallowing us bit by bit.
We have had our highs and lows. We have sat in lonely corners and laughed at our empty souls and clicked glasses at our past selves. We have urged each other on. We have silently let each other carry their own burdens. But I love the fact that you have always listened to me whenever I needed you to. You have always defended me even in my absence. You have always been proud of me, and you have stood by me even during those times I didn’t realise I was falling.
We don’t talk as much as we should. We don’t hang out as often as we would have loved. But I love the fact that I can still count on you. That I know you are out there doing your best to be the person you want to be. And you will always say yes when it comes to me.
I have never been good at writing thank you notes, but I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to try my hand at it. That said, thank you for giving the push any time I needed it. Thank you for believing in my writing. For knowing your boundaries. And doing your best to keep at them. For understanding the sarcasm and not blowing things out of proportion.
Thank you for all the times you have said I write well. And all the times you have introduced me to better writing platforms. Thank you for the music in your poetry. And for the depth of your words. I can never tell my journey through writing without mentioning your name.
Thank you for seeing the bigger picture of mine, well before I even thought I could write prose.
We don’t talk much either. But you know I got you, right? Yeah, me too.
You are great.
My list of female friends is the briefest I have, but no matter how many they are, you top the list. Six years ago, our paths crossed and life has never been the same ever again. You have given me shelter when my own place was too uncomfortable for me. Given me food when I didn’t have any cash on me. Held my hand when I didn’t know where I was going and laughed at me when I did miserable stuff that required some laughing to do.
I remember the first day you told me I look innocent, I laughed at it. Not because you were wrong or right, but because I was happy, we were starting this on a clean slate. Look what we turned into…ha-ha.
I have loved every experience we have had, including the times we were so angry at each other and we couldn’t talk for days. But you are not the grudge type. It is easy for you to show up at my doorstep, and bang till I open up. Also, you are the only person who knows when I am intentionally ignoring your calls, and you always send a text saying ‘I know you are ignoring me.’
I love your guts. I admire your courage. And your fierce nature is out of this world. Thank you for being my shield when I was too small to fight for myself. Because of you, I have learnt to stand on my own, to speak for myself and to walk out when I am no longer needed.
You are awesome.
Dear unborn child
Sometimes I think you are a faraway dream that will take quite some time to come true. Sometimes I envision you in my arms and I see a huge smile on both our faces. Sometimes, I freak out because I don’t even know whether I will have the courage and strength to bring you forth when the time comes. My friends tell me the fear will die out on its own. And I really hope that is true.
Someday, you will be here and I guess I will never have enough of you. I want to say I hope you look like me, but I don’t know whether that is what you want. So, instead, I just pray that when you look yourself in the mirror, you will love your reflection.
I will let you crawl, walk, run and fly if that is what you will want to do. I will let you feel whatever this world has to offer, and taste any other thing that your heart will beat for. I hope you will love music, I don’t care which genre, because I know the healing power that lies in music.
And someday, I will let you read this. And I will let you know that your father suggested I write this for you.
I love you already.
You do not love to read. But that is the price you will have to pay for knowing me. I honestly think someday we shall sit somewhere, unearth this blog with you and laugh at all the things I have written, particularly for this challenge. But again, a good laugh is what I love most about you. We never miss one.
Again, thank you for being so annoying that I have to literally kick your ass, and that never stops you. Thank you for being the reason why I find courage and light every new day. For drawing the fine lines of my smile in the perfect way there could ever be. For giving me second chances every now and then.
Sometimes, I think I am so undeserving of you, but each day you continue to remind me of the gem I am. Of how priceless I am. That I make you happy. And content. And that in itself is satisfying.
I pray for you. Every day I pray that your dreams come true. Your heart’s desires get fulfilled and you find all that you ever hope for. I will be here to cheer you on. To clap when you win. To laugh when need be. And to bore you with my books.
You are adorable.
That is it for today. See you tomorrow!