Day 21: Something I Can’t Seem to Get Over


The other day at work, Pheiffer and I were moving to a new office and this other guy decided to help us out with the pushing and pulling of drawers, desks, cabinets and anything else that required pulling. We were having a hard time deciding on the seating arrangement, because well, everyone wanted the corner, and there was only one corner available. In the end, we decided one desk should be moved out to create more space.

This other guy: Even better. We could take out this one whose colour is slightly faded?

Pheiffer: Is that even a thing? I don’t see any difference between the colours.

This other guy: Even its edges are a little bit rugged. It makes the place look rugged.

We steal glances at each other. Just the other day, this other guy had the lighting changed because they were not as bright as he wished they were.

I knew exactly what was up with this other guy. It was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). And that was me in other aspects, just not the office this time.

I remember the first time one of my friends was going through my Instagram profile, and happened to come across ‘Super high levels of OCD’.

Lena: Sasa hii OCD ni vitu gani?

Me: What are you doing on my profile in the first case?

Lena: If you didn’t want us to check you out, you could have made the account private. Now, are you going to tell me or not?

Me: In layman’s language or normal people language?

Lena: Ebu sema in full nione kama nitaelewa.

Me: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Lena: Sasa hio ni nini? Ebu sema kwa lugha ya watu wa kawaida.

I laughed. We all laughed. But after I explained it all, all he said was ‘ndio maana unapenda kupangapanga vitu kila saa’. Good guy that one!

So, I think the one thing I cannot get over is the fact that I have extremely high levels of OCD. Maybe that is why I am too picky and opinionated. Maybe that is why I take a whole lot of time to decide what to wear, big reason I select my outfits the evening before.

Maybe that is the reason I always have a hard time hanging out with people, because I will feel a deep urge to try to change the way things have been planned; table layouts, matching colours, attendance lists, menus etc. And I know how irritating that can be to the people on the receiving end.

Maybe, it is the reason I don’t have icons randomly scattered on my desktop. If I give you my laptop, it would take quite some time before you locate the photos folder, not because there is something to be hidden, but because all my folders are arranged in a certain way I am not going to disclose here…. ha-ha.

I don’t know if that makes me a perfectionist. But I know it borders perfection. It is not something to die for, because sometimes I feel it is too much, but I can’t help it.

So, there it goes. Me and my OCD are here to stay.

 

See you tomorrow!

 

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Miss Mbabazi


Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy.

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